Becoming
by Schizzar
Summary: When you're the King's right hand man, you've got a lot of pressure to deal with. Ranulf knows that, and Ike knows how to help him out. But things are quickly spiraling out of Ike's control, and near death experiences aren't really helping.


**I hope you all enjoy this. :D I'm such a sucker for this pairing. Much thanks to Sol Hiryu for some suggestions in the dialogue.**

**Spoilers for Radiant Dawn. They're not too severe and there's no plot details given away but ya know. **

**I don't own Fire Emblem.**

**NEW NOTE AS OF 12/11/14: This fic has been ****censored. An uncensored version exists on my a03 account. The username is the same there as it is here, just google it. **

If looks could kill, Ike was certain Skrimir would've been dead at least six times. And that was a conservative guess. To anyone who didn't know Ranulf, the cat laguz was the epitome of calm as he walked out of the strategy tent, but Ike knew better. The blue cat's shoulders were stiff, and a few times he had seen the laguz's hands begin to clench only to relax once more.

Ike took his time going to Ranulf's tent. He knew from experience that if he rushed there, the laguz would be too angry to talk coherently. But if he waited until he was back to thinking rationally?

The commander was used to dealing with Ranulf. Back during the Mad King's War, he had fought with the laguz until he finally admitted was wrong. For all the cheeriness he put on, Ike knew how much pressure the cat laguz put on himself and how sensitive he was to anything less than perfect. How he masked his worries with a charade of jokes and sarcasm.

There were nights they curl together on Ike's bed, and Ranulf would talk of how the King depended on him to be strong, to protect Elincia. How, before the war, Ranulf dealt with the sneering of the stronger, bigger tiger laguz who couldn't fathom how a weak cat had gotten into such a high ranking position.

"Hey."

One word when he entered the ten. One word had Ranulf's shoulders slumping, his tail flicking listlessly as he turned to face him

"I almost lost my temper back there," Ranulf said.

"No one noticed," Ike said. "There's a river nearby. Maybe a swim?"

Ranulf closed his eyes and sighed. "You always have the greatest ideas. If we're quick, no one will even notice we were gone."

-.-

Normally, splashing around in a river while in enemy territory was not something Ike would do. But seeing Ranulf's stress melt away as he stretched out on the riverbank in nothing but his air-drying trousers was well worth the risk. He had gotten rid of his armor awhile ago when he had stripped down to nothing for his own swim, and had only bothered to put his breeches and undershirt back on. His sword was well within reach, even when he moved to stretch out beside the laguz.

Ranulf rolled into him, twining their legs together as a contented purr rumbled in his chest. Ike trailed his fingers through the teal locks of hair, for once untamed by his usual orange cap.

"Wanna tell me what's wrong?" he asked after a moment.

"Nah. Too comfy," Ranulf said with a yawn.

"But you're going to tell me anyways."

"Yeah probably."

Ike pinched the laguz's cat ear, laughing as the older rolled away, batting at his hand. Ranulf's eyes narrowed and he pounced, pinning the larger to the ground and cuffing the side of his head lightly.

"Respect your elders!"

"Yeah, sure, if you say so," Ike said, smiling up at him.

Ranulf's mismatched gaze softened and he leaned down to brush their noses together. "Thanks, Ike. I needed sometime to relax."

Ike let his hands trail over the laguz's well muscled back for a moment, then leaned up to press a gentle kiss to his lips. He could feel Ranulf's smile as their tongues lazily entwined, the usual roughness of their kisses nowhere to be found. Such kisses were rare between them, but whenever Ranulf offered them, Ike took full advantage.

"Your tactics of relaxation are flawless," Ranulf said as Ike leaned back, dragging the laguz closer.

"I've had practice," Ike said, one hand wrapping around his waist and the other moving up to toy with his ears.

"Guess this means I gotta talk now, doesn't it?" Ranulf asked.

"I don't ever make you do anything," Ike said.

"Yeah but if I don't, I'll feel bad," Ranulf said, nuzzling at his neck. "I just...worry. Skrimir is so concerned about running off into battle, not thinking about all the lives he's risking, and if he gets killed...well it's my fault. I don't think the King would take kindly to that."

"Skrimir is really too headstrong," Ike agreed. "Maybe...I can try to help."

"He does look up to you, in a weird way," Ranulf said, propping himself up so he could look Ike in the eye. "Just be subtle about it. He doesn't like being ordered around, as I have learned many times over."

"Subtlety isn't really in my nature, but I'll try," Ike said.

"You do too much for me," Ranulf said with a chuckle. He curled up closer, entwining their legs further.

"Sometimes I think it's not enough."

Ranulf cuffed him lightly in the side of the head again, nipping his jaw playfully. "Don't make me start lecturing you too."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

-.-

The smell of smoke clung to his clothes. The fires that had burned up the supply tents of the Begnion senators had been fierce, and had smelled terribly. Ike wasn't sure he could get the smell out, and was almost completely decided on just throwing the garments away instead of cleaning them.

When he entered his tent, he was seized by a tight grip and pulled forward, his shirt tearing beneath Ranulf's powerful pull. There was nothing gentle about what happened next. The laguz's kiss was almost all teeth, fingernails raking down Ike's sides. Squirming against him, Ike was able to finally break free, cupping Ranulf's face in his hands and staring into his blue and purple eyes, holding his gaze until the madness began to die away.

"Ranulf...I'm here. What's wrong?"

"I almost died," Ranulf whispered. "I...I was going to die. I couldn't hold my form, I changed back and he...he...Ike..."

Ike pulled the laguz forward in a crushing hug, broad hand twisting roughly in his teal hair. "It's alright. We're both here now. Everything's going to be fine."

Ranulf shuddered in his grip, trying to stay strong and not let his fear show. It was stupid really, thinking Ike would think less of him after all this time, for being afraid of dying. Everyone was afraid of dying. They'd be stupid not to.

"I'm not here to judge you Ranulf. You almost died, and that is a terrifying thing to think about. You can be upset," Ike said, rubbing his back as the other's arms came up to embrace him, hands digging into the cloth and tearing at it.

A desperate sob choked out of Ranulf's throat, but that was it. There were no tears, no moans or complaining. But it was something. It was something the laguz needed to survive, a way of expressing all the pain and fear he had pent up inside of him, and while he hadn't released nearly enough of it, it was a start.

Ike managed to walk them over to the cot, kissing Ranulf's eyelids, then his nose, his mouth. Ranulf rubbed against him, trying to get closer, trying to find the comfort he craved with every trembling nerve.

"Goddess, Ranulf," Ike whispered, pressing him down into the cot, holding him down by his wrists.

"Not now, Ike. Need you," Ranulf said, his voice interrupted by harsh gasps for breath.

"Okay," Ike murmured. He nuzzled Ranulf's neck, then bit down on his earlobe, the action forcing a keening cry from the laguz's lips as he arched up into his touch.

Ike knew they were close, had known that for a long time. The bond they shared was something he had never shared with anyone else, and while it had been like this for years, he had never felt what he did now. The overwhelming urge to protect and cherish the laguz, and never let him go. It was almost as if he...

"I love you." The words were gasped into Ranulf's mouth, but the cat laguz seemed too far-gone to notice, shuddering in Ike's tight grip.

For awhile, they just lay there, limbs entwined as they tried to catch their breath. Ike let his hands trail over Ranulf's back as the cat laguz curled tight into him, breath puffing hot on his neck. Eventually, Ranulf's hands slid under his arms to wrap around his back, his breathing evening out as sleep began to pull him down and away. Ike wished he could fall asleep, but all he could think about were the words that had slipped out.

-.-

Ike woke early the next morning. Ranulf had managed to sprawl himself on top of the commander, his grip tight and unyielding. Sighing, he brushed his knuckles over the laguz's cheek, tracing the blue marks along his face.

Confusion made his head foggy. The bond he and Ranulf shared was deep, they both knew that. He had told Ranulf things he had never told another living soul, not even Soren. But love? Did he love Ranulf? Did Ranulf love him back? There was an easy way to find out; he could just ask. If it were anyone else, he would've, but it was Ranulf. A laguz who made his trust issues very apparent back during the Mad King's War.

The laguz had often spoke of how he thought Ike was foolish, so willing to trust others. He had never really told Ike why he didn't trust people easily, and he wasn't sure if it was simply a laguz thing or if it was because of something Ranulf had yet to tell him. Either way, he knew that Ranulf loving someone, trusting someone, would be near impossible.

Ranulf trusted him more than he trusted others, that much was obvious. But Ike wasn't sure if it was enough to warrant love. And if he told Ranulf what he felt and the laguz was scared off, then where would he be? The teal-haired cat would probably go off on his own and let things build up until he broke, rather than go talk to him about it like he had in the past.

"Your heart is racing," Ranulf murmured against his chest. "Thinking about something?"

He reached one hand up to curl around Ike's neck, playing with the hair at the bottom of his hairline. Ike stopped his own tracing and put his hand on Ranulf's back, fingers tapping at the smooth skin there.

"Yeah. Ranulf..."

"I heard you last night," Ranulf said, stalling his words. "Loud and clear."

"Oh."

Ranulf chuckled, a dark sound. "That's all you can say? Can't explain why you would confess your love for me, a worthless cat laguz that can't even protect his future King?"

"You're not worthless," Ike said. "You're strong, Ranulf. Zelgius just happens to...be stronger than any of us really bargained for. That doesn't mean you're worthless."

"My mental state is beyond the point," Ranulf said with a sigh. He pushed himself up, yawning wide as he straddled Ike's stomach, tail stretching out straight.

Ike couldn't help the short laugh that escaped him at the sight. Ranulf just half opened his violet eye, yawn turning into a smirk. Growing serious, the laguz stretched out on top of him in such a way that he could look the commander in the eyes.

"So, did you mean it?"

Ike wished he could look away from Ranulf's penetrating gaze, but as always, the laguz wouldn't let him. There was something hypnotizing about his eyes. "Yeah. I...I love you."

"Hm." Ranulf finally broke their gaze, turning his head to rest it on the commander's chest. "Well this changes some things. Or does it?"

"What do you mean? Of course it does," Ike said, carding his hand through the teal hair and scratching at Ranulf's ears. A purr burst free from Ranulf's chest, tail lashing back and forth in the air.

"Stop being distracting," Ranulf said after a moment, batting his hands away. "I don't think it changes anything. Look at us. Look at you. You know everything about me; you know what to do when I'm scared. No one has seen me scared before. No one, and I've been around for quite sometime. Dammit Ike." The laguz pushed himself back up, leaning forward to cup the commander's face in his hands. "I love you too."

Ike's eyes widened at the soft omission, but then Ranulf's lips were on his and they were kissing and it tasted better than any of their other kisses. Ranulf's purr rumbled so loud he could feel it through their lips as they tasted each other, Ranulf's fingers threading through his as he bore down on the commander.

"Thank you Ike," Ranulf said, pressing their foreheads together as he broke the kiss. Their noses brushed together. "I don't know if I'd be as happy as I am right now if it weren't for you. You've changed me."

"I..."

"You're adorable when you blush," Ranulf said with a grin. "Sorry for getting you all flustered."

"Stop saying stuff like that and maybe I'll believe you."

Ranulf laughed and kissed him again. Ike wasn't aware of how long they laid there, tongues sliding against each other as they explored one another with their hands. They weren't intending to go any further. It was just a way to become reacquainted with one another. The knot of worry that had been built up in Ike's chest without his knowing eased away as he tucked Ranulf against his side once more, lips brushing back and forth over Ranulf's forehead.

"Think we got enough time for a quick cat nap?" Ranulf asked against his neck.

"Yeah, I think so," Ike said.

"Get some actual sleep this time," Ranulf said. "You were tossing and turning all over the place last night. It was very distracting."

"Says the one with the tail that insists on flapping against me right when I'm about to drift off."

"Go to sleep, you meathead."

"As you wish, furball."

Ranulf gave a playful growl, nipped his ear, and then settled down to sleep once more, his purr soft. Ike spent a few more moments staring down at his lover, analyzing all his features, already long memorized. He could get used to this.


End file.
